Sixteen Haikus

A German volcano enthusiast shot these images of lightening bolts blasting out of a Japanese volcano.

Rietze captured lightning erupting from the billowing smoke and ash—an unlikely phenomenon that NASA says is not yet fully understood. According to one Smithsonian article, there are actually two sorts: One occurs when charged gases meet cool air, similar to the way lighting occurs in thunderstorms. The other, which is what Rietze captured, was only recently discovered and is even less understood. It occurs continuously at the mouth of the volcano as it’s erupting, and seems to stem from the collision of highly charged lava and rocks: “There’s some mechanism in there that’s making it come out charged,” scientist Ronald Thomas told the Eric Jaffe.

Budget $23 for the next seven days.  overspend by $8 on day one, live on $10 for days two and three.

Stop pouring Draino down the kitchen sink. get a wrench(?) and remove the coffee grounds that keep getting poured down the drain. get a strainer. stop pouring coffee grounds down the drain.

Conduct 30-minute-eyes-making session with a handsome devil some night; hand over your number and do not say I’ve never done that before when he calls, even though it’s true.

Renew magazine subscription so there is no staring longingly at people on the ‘el reading the first 2013 issue of the New Yorker. 

Snuggle the kitties.

Beg t-mobile to give you until the 15th and to please reconsider shutting off your phone; don’t let Christmas rape you again.

Watch “The West Wing” every night for three days; dream vaguely of the White House every night for the rest of the week.

Remember to do the math when psychosis starts: ovulation + 4 days » hell; d-day = clarity/harmony (so don’t worry).

Fantasize about conversations; have them. 

Don’t smoke a cigarette right before getting on the bus/train (*quit smoking).

Kind.